I think we all experience different symptoms of anxiety. Just like I think we all have different triggers of anxiety. But I wanted to address how I personally feel when I suffer from anxiety. First, since I was a child, I have not been able to shut my brain off. Hence, I’m always thinking about “something.” That something is usually a recent occurrence which made me feel strongly one way or another. Unfortunately, the negative feelings seem to linger longer than the positive feelings. For example, if I do something embarrassing or something I did not like then I usually replay that negative feeling over and over in my head. It’s like for whatever reason I just cannot shake it. Not to be dramatic but it almost acts as torture device in a way, because it affects my feelings, mood, energy, etc. until I can let it go. It’s honestly a terrible feeling. And I mean who wants to feel like that? Clearly, it is not a healthy habit. The flip side of that is when something positive happens, I also replay it in my head albeit for a much shorter period. Another way anxiety has affected me is in certain settings which I categorize as high importance. These usually consist of job interviews, job presentations, school presentations, speeches, etc. For example, it usually occurs when I am nervous about a particular task or event, and I work myself up too much before the actual event even occurs. A great quote I heard and would like to reference states why stress twice? Meaning clearly, you are going to have some sort of stress when the event arises and you must fulfill your duties, but the entire lead up to that moment when one is in a stress induced state of panic what is that about? It’s like you’re forcing your body to stress about the particular event twice, but why stress if it hasn’t even occurred yet? This does make you question your brain, because now I’m enduring this stress and not in the moment while I’m simply watching tv on the couch at home or out at dinner with friends? That makes no sense! There is no valid stimulus to actually cause fear, rather we are making it up in our minds. Another trigger of anxiety I’ve experienced in the past is sometimes if I am in a social setting and begin to feel trapped, I start to become overwhelmed. The difficult part about being in this situation is it seems easy to overcome because it’s not as if I’m caged in literally, but it is quite difficult if you care about the impression you are making. What I mean is that if you find yourself at a social event with many people around and begin to feel overwhelmed the easiest answer is to just remove yourself. But what if it’s a work event? What if you didn’t drive? What if it’s your friend’s birthday? All of these are situations in which it would be socially unacceptable to leave, and even worse could result in future consequences. The worst part is that it would bring even more negative attention to yourself, the very thing you are trying to avoid. As I said earlier, there are many ways in which one can suffer from anxiety or the triggering event itself resulting in the onset of anxiety. But I think it’s fair to say that anxiety causes our body to act abnormally while in a state of fear. The physiological effect of anxiety is that some stimulus activates our sympathetic nervous system which in turn prompts the body to go into a state of fight or flight. In simple terms, we are telling our brain we are in fear which floods our body with hormones to protect itself, thus why we have an increased heart rate, sweating, and blood pressure increases as it directs flow to our muscles. Now, in a life-or-death situation we are grateful for this response because it could be the very thing that keeps us alive (main reason for response). However, in today’s world we have tricked our brains into believing a speech is a life-or-death event. I’d like to quickly sidebar to address how I believe this happened because I don’t think humans are to blame as much as the resulting circumstances themselves. Going way back to the hunter and gatherer days, humans had a simple life, do what is necessary to survive. If a human hunter came face to face with a wild animal, then the resulting fight or flight response could be the one thing that saved their life. Now in today’s world humans live a different life. You can’t fault humans for evolving and advancing at an astronomical level, but this has led to new problems. Because humans have made life so simple, our brains have become complex. What I mean is at least in America, humans do not have to worry about the necessities of survival (food, water, shelter). This has prompted humans to worry about what they deem “important or of value.” Now right or wrong in today’s society humans deem their family, net worth, education, sports, social media followers, etc. as “important.” Our brain is ever powerful, and what you deem “important” rather consciously or subconsciously the brain follows suit. So, then it should come as no surprise that when you treat a public speech as a fearful situation and continually dread the lead up prior to the actual event you are reinforcing to the brain that it should cue the fight or flight response. Over time our brains become accustomed on how to react to situations, which is why its incredibly important to challenge your thoughts and beliefs as they arise, as well as find ways to combat the fight or flight response in the body.
As always, allow me to provide some value. What are some of the top concerns resulting in anxiety? Pressure, Stress, Trauma, Self-Confidence, Negative Mindset, Introverted, Intrusive Thoughts, etc. One of the first things I now do to combat anxiety is question the thought. Is it really that important to get worked up about? What am I scared of? Why am I thinking of a worst case scenario, what about the best case scenario? The next thing I do is challenge the feeling. Why am I feeling scared about something in 4 days? All I can do now is prepare for it and when the time comes, go out there and do my best. Will people really care how I do? Would I care about how someone else does? Is this feeling valid? Have I done anything like this in the past? And if so, it was fine afterward, right? So, let’s go out there and do my best and move on. Step three is combatting the anxiety. Perform a calming routine prior to the event. Use a calming routine to combat anxious feelings whenever they arise. Some examples that could be incorporated into your calming routine are breathing techniques, yoga, meditation, redirect your mind by focusing on something else, visualization, exercise, eating healthy foods, ground yourself, listen to music, make yourself laugh, etc. Step four is over preparation and/or positive self-talk. This means if you’re nervous about something be over prepared, to the point where you know it like the back of your hand. If you find yourself anxious use positive self talk to remind yourself of all you HAVE accomplished, how proud of yourself you are, and how strong you are. Finally step five is reminding yourself that this is just one moment in time. Twenty years from now will you care or even remember this? Then do your best, calm down, let whatever you’re feeling go, take a deep breath and just be in the moment. I mean after all you’ll only live this moment once, may as well enjoy it. Now obviously overcoming anxiety, however it may be affecting you, isn’t something that can just be overcome in the snap of a finger. It’s going to be a long road of slowly challenging your brain until you can change it. You have the power to change though! It’s not easy, but the same way you’ve developed a habit of getting anxious in certain situations you can develop a habit of reacting differently or overcoming such anxiety through a number of techniques. For those of you suffering from anxiety, you are not alone! And it’s ok to not be ok sometimes. The main thing is just working hard to be a little bit better every day, because no one deserves to feel like that. I wish you the very best on your journey and if you wanted to share your experience or ask for advice feel free to email me at tanner@roadtosuccessblog.com.
Overcoming Anxiety
Step 1: Question the Thought
Step 2: Challenge the Feeling
Step 3: Combat the Anxiety (Calming Technique)
Step 4: Positive Self Talk
Step 5: One Moment in your Entire Life
